A feeling..

You've came in so fast....
you've came in in such a way...
you know things that i've never thought i'd tell...
you know things that i thought i'd send to my grave...
you...
i've never thought i'd meet someone like you...
i'd never thought that i had in in common so many things... most of them so stupid... but so meaningful...
And... i'm making all of this up as i write... and i think it's nice...
all i know, it's with feeling...

...It's not gonna be the same...

It's not gonna be the same... under all of this chaos... the storm has finally calmed... unfortunatly not in my favor, but, it's something that I've wanted right? I wanted to split... i wanted out, and i got it... i've had my week of fun... and now it's over... he was right... and he's also blind if he thinks i have something against him... he's blind if he thinks that i thought that he was my threat... how blind... how sincerely blind... i shot high... too high infact, and i missed.
It doesn't matter... (8) In the end, it doesn't even matter(8) ... all i know, that this time, i've split... this time the fragmentacion is too much... this time the fight was too hard, this time it's all over... like in my last blog, i'm ready for change, and if the one's around me aren't ready, the only thing left to do is go my own way...
...I repeat, nothing's gonna be the same...

...Ready...

It's quite simple, i'm tired of it... everything... I'm ready for change... If none of you aren't... then maybe this is as far as we go... Those days will be missed... but i'm about to let myself be dragged down as well... i'm tired of it, all these rivalries... it was fun at first... but now? We're hurting something important to us three...no, i correct myself, YOU'RE hurting something so important to yourself, you're hurting yourself so much in so many ways... I'm ready for change, I admit that i have no power whatsoever... and i have been so extremely selfish... but now i can see... and i'm ready for change...

Playing.

Si estires el teu braç dret què arribes a tocar? La paret(m'em fa sentir com encerrat[barbarisme? T.T]

Què ha estat l'ultim que has mirat per la televisió? mmm...ver un poco la peli de Manhatan[creo k se ecribe asi] con mis padres. [esa que sale la jennifer lopez]. Unos 5 minutos, no veo mucho la tele.

Sense mirar, quina hora és? Eleven ten


Ara mira, quina hora és? 6 minutes past eleven

Deixant a un costat l'ordinador, què escoltes? Bua...de todo, pero creo que se puede concretar un poco: pop, baladas, rock alternativo y tecno. 30 seconds to mars, breaking benjamin, Three doors down, BSB...

Quant de temps vas estar fora el día que vas estar més temps al carrer? Depende, sin irme a dormir a casa de nadie, desde las 10 de la mañana hasta las 10 de la noche creo... Durmiendo? unos 2 o tres dias.

Abans d'estar escrivint al blog, que estavas fent? Jugant a un RPG online.

Què portes posat ara mateix? a sweater, jeans, sneakers[i just came back from a friends house...]

Quant de temps vas riure l'ultima vegada que vas riure? Quan vaig parlar per telèfon amb un amic fa una hora o així, van ser un parell de petits riures en un petit marc de temps.

Vas somiar ahir? Si, un somni molt estrany...feia una cosa que mai pensava que ho faria.

Què hi ha a les parets de l'habitació on estàs? un parell de posters que no m'agraden gens ni mica...

Quina és la última pel•lícula que has vist? Si no recordo malament, aquesta pel.lícula on l'home sap que pensen les dones, em va agradar molt, la vaig trobar còmica, original, i...

Si et fessis multimilionari de la nit al dia..què compraries? dam... no hi ha gaire cosa material que em doni molta satisfacció, crec que trobaria la forma de tenir un flux continu de diners a partir d'aquests, intentar ajudar al altres, i comprar-me un GTO twinturbo(cotxe de l'infància).

Alguna cosa sobre tu? indesiso.

Si poguessis fer alguna cosa al món, independentment de la política, què faries?
I don't know where to start, many things, too many things, one thing? Change humanity's way of thinking.

T’agrada ballar? M'encanta... però... mai davant de ningú

Què en penses d’en George Bush? ...[es posa seriòs de cop]...com algú així va arribar a ser el líder de l'unica superpotència existent?[però que ha de tenir cura amb Europa, una potència en desenvolupament] I fer alguna cosa així als nasos de tot el món? !!!...No afegiré comentaris.

Imagina que, per reacció espontània, tens una nena; quin nom li posaries?
Rubí, Andrea,

I un nen?
Nicolàs.

Tagradaria viure a l'estranyer?
Ho he estat fent tota la meva vida. M'agradaria trobar un lloc on puc dir, aquest és casa meva. Després si, explorar el món...saber com viuen...ajudar si puc...gaudir si puc...

Què t’agradaria que et digués Déu quan arribis al cel?
Ho as fet bé...




Nomina a 5 persones: Nardor, GunBlade, i no conec a ningú més que faria l'esforç de contestar.

encara

Encara cerco... que cosa? no estic del tot segur... alguna cosa que em motivi... alguna cosa que em faci despertar...

...Missing you...

It surprised me...

I miss that first hug..it felt so fullfilling, and i know you felt the same...
I miss the way we would simply understand eachother, no words needed, complementary...
I need to tell you my thoughts, i need you to understand me...
I miss our infinite hours....they were never enough...
I miss our walks to nowhere...
I miss you...your friendship is so dear to me...i needed you at that time...i need you now...
And even though you're so far away...even though i can't contact you in any way...
...a place in my heart will always be reserved to you...
You...that comprehended me so well...we comprehended eachother...my mirror...
I wish...you were here by my side, cleaning my tears...
Help me dear friend...i feel so alone...

Somewhere i belong...

Somewhere I Belong lyrics

(When this began)
I had nothing to say
And I get lost in the nothingness inside of me
(I was confused)
And I let it all out to find
That I’m not the only person with these things in mind
(Inside of me)
But all the vacancy the words revealed
Is the only real thing that I’ve got left to feel
(Nothing to lose)
Just stuck/ hollow and alone
And the fault is my own, and the fault is my own

[Chorus]
I wanna heal, I wanna feel what I thought was never real
I wanna let go of the pain I’ve held so long
(Erase all the pain till it’s gone)
I wanna heal, I wanna feel like I’m close to something real
I wanna find something I’ve wanted all along
Somewhere I belong

And I’ve got nothing to say
I can’t believe I didn’t fall right down on my face
(I was confused)
Looking everywhere only to find
That it’s not the way I had imagined it all in my mind
(So what am I)
What do I have but negativity
’Cause I can’t justify the way, everyone is looking at me
(Nothing to lose)
Nothing to gain/ hollow and alone
And the fault is my own, and the fault is my own

[Repeat Chorus]

I will never know myself until I do this on my own
And I will never feel anything else, until my wounds are healed
I will never be anything till I break away from me
I will break away, I'll find myself today

[Repeat Chorus]

I wanna heal, I wanna feel like I’m somewhere I belong
I wanna heal, I wanna feel like I’m somewhere I belong
Somewhere I belong



Nothing else to say other than what it says...more or less...

P.D. I might edit this later on, i'm extremely tired and sleepy...and dizzy too...

Just got back

Just got back, it was nice, there was a lot of laughter, and in the end it was nice, it gave me a good time to think...

A few more days

Hey, i didn't really want to write during the holidays 'cause it would be way to ordinary to write about the same thing...it's kinda strange, but that's just me...^^

Only a few more days, i'm looking forward to exploring a new world, it's close, but it's something i know nothing about except a small part of it's airport... What i'm really looking forward to is taking a midnight stroll, feel the cold air burning your skin, look around to find that everything is new, and do something that i have always liked...walk, reflexionize...
I'm looking forward to going to sleep with 20 people nearer than 12 feet from me...xD...
It's been an exciting two years, and even if it's only a few days and about half the grade is coming, doesn't matter, it's a new way of relating with others in different situations.

An old student

About a month ago...my sister sended an email to his old 5th grade teacher, Mark Sage...The year that Mark taught my sister, it was his first, and i also remember it was one of the years where my little sister was happiest...and she misses them(teacher and students) dearly to this day... To her surprise, as i came home today... my sister wanted to tell me the news...and as she started i said, "He answered right?", and her eyes became watery...She was so happy telling me how her old teacher answered her, and remembered specific facts that only he and his students would know...she was so happy...i was almost as equally glad to see her cry of joy..."It's the first time i've ever been so happy.." She enthusiastically showed me the original copy of the email...and it moved me...It's nice to see a face with a smile as wide as hers and as pure once in a while...
It got to me...

thoughtful

almost certaintly due to my recent grounding...i have been very thoughtful lately, i've been thoughtful...just, thoughtful...as some of you know my writing comes from what i'm feeling...everything is left almost exactly the same way i wrote it. In a way i can be identified with modernisme...so..."bohemio", like a teacher told me...
No matter how much i try to write about something else, other things that are running through my "free-time" mind, i find it difficult to truly get into it, to truly feel it, and mean every word written as an intent to express my feelings at that particular moment...
I'm just, thoughtful...

What do you do?

What do you do when you feel alone?
What do you do when you look around and find everyone in their world,
and seem to show little or no care
for what you're going through?
Maybe i'm just as absorbed as them...
What do you do when even in the most natural situations you feel like a stranger?
What do you do when you haven't met your expectations?
What do you do when you feel that everyone has given you their back?
Fight...i guess...but this injured soldier has little more to give...
How long until the crack?
And when that happens,
What do you do?

Weekend

Well...this weekend was productive[i don't feel like writing much], i had a chance to go to la casa de colonies de "La Roca".I've been told it was famous, though i never really heard of it. After a dissapointing first impression of what i thought our trip was going to be[lack of organization], i was slowly getting into it...i was actually more of a monitor than one more child, i solved their problems, i was with some of them when they were scared, i scram at them, i grabbed and hugged that i thought were cutest, and when they would return those hugs, or even when they acted like if they didn't want to, but when you finally caught them they let themselves be carressed...And it's all just a game for them, and their prize for losing[but it's all really what they wanted] is a little bit of care, to realize that for that one moment, they are your world, and that their smile can make anybody's day...

Never thought

And i never thought this day would come...and i'd never thought that the day when it would be my veins in which flows anger...i have no other words for this, and the worst part, i never thought it would be the person with which i have shared so much, you know my life, you understand me in the same way that i understand you. We are rivals, and we both believe to be better than the other, and we never want to fight against eachother, because one almost always leaves humilliated. And we were like one...but this time you took one step too far my dear friend...this time i just said no...as much as i know i will miss you this time it is over. I'd never thought exactly about what you represented, i tried to make deaf ears, thinking you as someone like me...but now i undertand that you are exactly what i stand against, you are exactly the person who i would want to defeat and destroy. This time my dear bro...you've taken one step too far...
For me to care this much...you must've really dug deep...you know how to push me to my limits, you that that only your rivarly is what brings out the best in me...Only you know that with your capacity and your personality you would tap into me and bring out something that few can...effort, determination, anger, and,ironically, fun like no other. Anger may reside in me, but we past through is still in me, and i have grown to apreciate you, i have learned to like you and our friendship is as unique as our personalities, we share the same potencial to analize, we share that likeness to try to express ourselves as correctly and as deeply as possible, we share our ambicion to make a name for ourselves, and we are both extremely proud...
An obstacle got in our way and we shared an even greater bond...but after that, we both changed, we both got stronger, and for us two to clash was only a matter of time, i was quickly realizing that i both shared friendhip like no other and hated you at the same time, more than any other person, and i'd never thought it would be you...GET IT!
I await the day where we would once again meet and clash...everytime we did it...i had the time of my life...
For me...for now...you're just a memory...i'd thought it would be something that wouldn't end...i'd never thought...

...Music...

I've been wanting to write about music for a while now...how is it possible for simple vibrations captured by our ear to generate such a strong effect on us, at least on me. As long as i can, i take it everywhere, it's a way to connect to my world, to aisalate myself from others, to think. You can feel so comfortable thinking that no one can bother you at that moment... Music in some way, makes our emotions stronger, and i find it incredible...

I'll Attack

I won’t suffer, be broken
Get tired, or wasted
Surrender to nothing
I'll give up what I
Started
And stop this
From end to beginning
A new day is coming
And I am finally free

It's the start of the lyrics of a song that i just simply love, of course it has many interpretacions, i'll let each individual personality make it's opinion

Just...don't know...

Hey...finally...lately i've been having a bad "racha", encara que sigui molt dolent escriure en qualsevol idioma...no tinc ni temps ni ganes de pensar molt. Es curiós com a vegades sents que tot et ve de cop...que a vegades penses en que has pogut fer malament...com la vida simplement és cap a dalt...y després 2m baix de la terra, fins y tot desitjant que sigui més profund, perque a vegades es bó desapareixer..pero poder torbar-se amb un mateix..per podr saber que s'esta fent malament...a vegades per comprovar que només ets un petit univers dintre de tot aquest caos que nosaltres li diem món, i reconeixer que si tú no ets ahi, aquest gran univers ja no és el mateix oi? És com si fossin el tot i a la vegada res..hace mucho que no escribo asi...ultimamente simplmente he estado alejado...like, away...observing all that is around me[algunes coses més que altres]. I love walking to school with my music, i'm walking, but isolated from the rest, it's a place where i can think on how i'm going to act, what am i going to do...it's a new year...it's a new season, it's just...another part of my life where i hope...truly...not to dissapear a fast as i just appeared[as for some good news, that doesn't seem to be going to happen any time soon], for this city...this country...has given me a new oportunity...a chance to start over, but a little older, my teenage life is here...Badalona, Barcelona, Catalunya...i no dic més perque no he vivit en ningun lloc més aqui a Europa, i Espanya...he tingut el privilegi de coneixer a Espanyols de debó, i no s'assembla res a BDN, i es que aquest lloc és mes diversificat que molta gent té la motivació de intentar explorar els seus límits. Now, i'm back, inserted into myself..for every happy face is either a smile behind a face...or sometimes, just a flash of just myself...no me molesto en revisarlo porque no tengo mucho tiempo, asi que me despido.See ya ;P

See Ya!

well..to the few people who read this..just wanna say so long! I'm leaving a short[or long] ten days at mallorca to celebrate the 30th anniversary that my "esplai" was founded. Well, hope u're all having a great summer. Byeee ;)

No darkness

Imagine a world without darkness..a world where there is nothing but hapiness, a world where there are no dissapointments, a world where there are no changes, a world imagined when somebody closes their eyes[maybe tht'as the best way to express it..] Now..what would be the difference between this world given to us for the only reason that we are born, or being a small part of this world..of having the great satisfaction of actually putting your own small grain..of treating others with patience, tolerance other than insensitivity, of giving to others without expecting anything in return, of having generousity in one's heart, of being humble, and all in all, treating others how you would treat yourself..i think these small grains..in the end, make a mountain..Now i make enfasis to before, what if we never had the oportunity to act this way? what if..it was all light..just because yes..it's an ideal world..a world i try to believe in..but it's a world to work upon, even if others don't, 'cause, it's just another grain..we can't expect for it to just be handed over to us..can't expect..

update

well..it's been a while since i updated this blog..i was looking thiugh a few of them and i thght it was time to update mine, the main reason i haven't updated was the great number of things that has happened to me..i guess that during this next period i will be updating quite a bit.
it's kinda late..so i'll just leave you with the curiousity of the many ideas that are floating through my head now...