thoughtful

almost certaintly due to my recent grounding...i have been very thoughtful lately, i've been thoughtful...just, thoughtful...as some of you know my writing comes from what i'm feeling...everything is left almost exactly the same way i wrote it. In a way i can be identified with modernisme...so..."bohemio", like a teacher told me...
No matter how much i try to write about something else, other things that are running through my "free-time" mind, i find it difficult to truly get into it, to truly feel it, and mean every word written as an intent to express my feelings at that particular moment...
I'm just, thoughtful...

What do you do?

What do you do when you feel alone?
What do you do when you look around and find everyone in their world,
and seem to show little or no care
for what you're going through?
Maybe i'm just as absorbed as them...
What do you do when even in the most natural situations you feel like a stranger?
What do you do when you haven't met your expectations?
What do you do when you feel that everyone has given you their back?
Fight...i guess...but this injured soldier has little more to give...
How long until the crack?
And when that happens,
What do you do?

Weekend

Well...this weekend was productive[i don't feel like writing much], i had a chance to go to la casa de colonies de "La Roca".I've been told it was famous, though i never really heard of it. After a dissapointing first impression of what i thought our trip was going to be[lack of organization], i was slowly getting into it...i was actually more of a monitor than one more child, i solved their problems, i was with some of them when they were scared, i scram at them, i grabbed and hugged that i thought were cutest, and when they would return those hugs, or even when they acted like if they didn't want to, but when you finally caught them they let themselves be carressed...And it's all just a game for them, and their prize for losing[but it's all really what they wanted] is a little bit of care, to realize that for that one moment, they are your world, and that their smile can make anybody's day...

Never thought

And i never thought this day would come...and i'd never thought that the day when it would be my veins in which flows anger...i have no other words for this, and the worst part, i never thought it would be the person with which i have shared so much, you know my life, you understand me in the same way that i understand you. We are rivals, and we both believe to be better than the other, and we never want to fight against eachother, because one almost always leaves humilliated. And we were like one...but this time you took one step too far my dear friend...this time i just said no...as much as i know i will miss you this time it is over. I'd never thought exactly about what you represented, i tried to make deaf ears, thinking you as someone like me...but now i undertand that you are exactly what i stand against, you are exactly the person who i would want to defeat and destroy. This time my dear bro...you've taken one step too far...
For me to care this much...you must've really dug deep...you know how to push me to my limits, you that that only your rivarly is what brings out the best in me...Only you know that with your capacity and your personality you would tap into me and bring out something that few can...effort, determination, anger, and,ironically, fun like no other. Anger may reside in me, but we past through is still in me, and i have grown to apreciate you, i have learned to like you and our friendship is as unique as our personalities, we share the same potencial to analize, we share that likeness to try to express ourselves as correctly and as deeply as possible, we share our ambicion to make a name for ourselves, and we are both extremely proud...
An obstacle got in our way and we shared an even greater bond...but after that, we both changed, we both got stronger, and for us two to clash was only a matter of time, i was quickly realizing that i both shared friendhip like no other and hated you at the same time, more than any other person, and i'd never thought it would be you...GET IT!
I await the day where we would once again meet and clash...everytime we did it...i had the time of my life...
For me...for now...you're just a memory...i'd thought it would be something that wouldn't end...i'd never thought...